Happy Friday all!

I didn’t get a chance to give my weekly list this past Monday, so I wanted to rectify that today. Today I woke up and I thought about how fast this year is flying by. It also occurred to me that next year is going to begin a new decade. Wow! That got me thinking back to the 1990’s. While this decade might have been prosperous for our country, it was a dark time for comic books, and the folks who read them. And so, in honor of the 1990’s, my list today is the top ten reasons I’m glad the 90’s are long gone. I know that this might seem like a fish/ barrel kind of thing, but I feel this is a list what needs to be made. So, away we go!

1) Pouches Pouches everywhere– In the 1990’s everyone needed pouches. Why? No one knows. I get that the guys carrying around 500 guns needed a great many pouches for ammo, but why did Cyclops need 23 pouches? Did he keep extra visors in them?

2) Clone shennanigans– Oh Spider-man, you were so great, and then your clone came back to haunt you. He made a fool of you, running around in what appeared to be a sweatshirt that even a bum would discard, and peroxided hair. And what did you do? You ran away like a little girl and let hobo-sweatshirt Spidey run the show. 1990’s Spider-man, you sir, were a bitch.

3) The many (sad)faces of Superman– When Superman was killed it was sad. I felt like it was the end of an era. When Superman came back as a teenager (secretly a half-clone), a bad-ass who wore old-people sunglasses (secretly a Kryptonian energy thingie who took Supes shape), a cyborg (secretly an old villian who found and replicated dead Super particles) and Steel (not-so-secretly a black guy), I was confused. When Superman turned into Blue lightning I threw up a little. But this?

No one deserves the Super-mullet. No one.

4) Someone’s overcompensating– In the 1990’s it was apparently mandate that everyone carry a gun that was three times their own size.

5) Die-cut Debauchery– If you like die-cut, chromium, triple gatefold, holographic covers, then you love the 1990’s.

6) X-tremification– In keeping with the whole pouches/ big gun motif, everyone in comics became a bad-ass in the 1990’s. Worse than that, if you were a character born in the 1990’s, like Adam Extreme (pictured above) you were probably not going to stick around too long, because you were EXTREME! Ungh.

7) The Avengers-No clever title for this one. There isn’t a short way to explain how bad the Avengers became in the 90’s, but I’m going to try. The art was terrible (see above). The stories just kept getting worse. Iron man went crazy and killed people, so the avengers had to go back in time and get young Tony to defeat old Tony, but then young Tony became old Tony… Thor started to look like he owned an S&M club. The Black Knight had a laser sword. The wasp turned into a wasp. I can’t go on, I’m tearing up.

Onslaught of the senses– So Magneto got out of line, and Professor X gave him the mental pimp slap. This resulted in the ugliest possible amalgamation of Prof. X and Magneto possible, and wound up killing half of the Marvel universe (for about a year).

9) Rob Liefeld– The man responsible for making half the things on this list popular, it took 10 years of the Rob before people realized he couldn’t/ wouldn’t draw feet.

10) Superpro– One look says it all.

So let’s hear it for the end of this bygone era. Hoorah! If you think that I’m being too hard on this decade, remember, this is the same decade where Kris Kross made it cool to wear your pants backward. Don’t pretend you didn’t do it.

Thanks for stopping by, see you tomorrow!