Sgt. Angle reporting for duty!

This afternoon, while scarfing my square lunch of beans, potatoes, and a meat that may have been a turkey but I really have no way of knowing, I stumbled upon an odd bit of movie news which completely trumped my original article about the dendrophilia “nature is beauty” cutaways in Terrence Malick films (thrilling to botanists, not so much to the rest of the planet). My discovery of an unnecessary remake with a bizarre choice for director leads us to part two of my “Reboot this” series: “Remaking what now?”

Death at a Funeral was the quirky English (read: British) comedy directed by Frank Oz just two years ago, a comedy of errors that takes place in the course of a day.

The story revolves around the son of the recently deceased, as he tries to muster the courage to perform his father’s eulogy while rationing his time between moody relatives, an acid-tripping friend, and the recent revelation of his father’s secret gay life. The movie had no particular stars to speak of, yet the comedy is absurd, characters likable, and Alan Tudyk turns in a hilarious performance, mostly in the nude.

Today I discovered this poster for the American remake (of an ENGLISH film):

I would like to choose not to partake in this business of remaking films unnecessarily, but cannot help admiring the audacity of the angle the producers have chosen. Here they have taken a concept of a dark comedy revolving around an absurd family, and given it the twist of A)making the family American, and B)making the family black. There is an audience for this in America, and the fact that this is based on a British comedy should hold no water, considering very few Americans enjoyed that first film. The remake has the draw of Chris Rock, Tracey Morgan, Martin Lawrence, Luke Wilson, Cyclops, Uhura, and Danny Glover. DANNY GLOVER.

The fella on the left:

*It should be noted that another Chris Rock remake endeavor, Down to Earth (a remake of the film Heaven Can Wait (itself a remake of Here Comes Mr. Jordan), performed modestly at the box office in 2001, gaining $64 million, though the film’s budget was a pricey $49 million.

The Death at a Funeral remake is directed by Neil Labute, a playwright turned Hollywood filmmaker whose In the Company Of Men gave us the wonderful Aaron Eckhart, but his remake of The Wicker Man only displayed Nicholas Cage in a bear suit.

Just another argument against remakes.

And here’s the part of the post where I could allow Mr. Wolff to overtake my bearings, to guide my hand on a rant of self-assured righteousness about the negativity of remakes on originality in Hollywood; on the lack of a truly creative, unique film; on a general disregard and disrespect for the American moviegoers who pay $6 for popcorn and pick their teeth through the opening credits while talking on their cell phones, and who refuse to stay for a movie with subtitles.

But I won’t go there. Not yet, for that is not what today’s orders are about. Today is about the MEANING of a remake, and the dedicated artistry behind the process, the will of the filmmaking team to go for broke, and then fix it again, while holding their film to only one standard: that of the original piece.

One could say that Roman Polanski’s Macbeth is a remake. The source material has been around for hundreds of years, and even Orson Welles gave it a go back in 1948. But I daresay that simply holding an original film’s title is not enough — simply recycling the script is not enough. With that in mind, Neil LaBute’s “Death at a Funeral” has lost points already. But has it lost enough?

The concept is the same, and the jokes will most likely try be absurd as the original was. You know another remake that tried to be a comedy but failed in retrospect? Bad News Bears. And that had another respected director at its’ helm: Richard Linklater.

Look, the truth of the matter is that we can go on and on about remakes — both American and foreign — and argue about what’s better, the original or the new one, the classic or the update, or the third update, for that matter. But the point of it all is — what is the point? Come up with something original once in a while. Charlie Kaufman can do it. Even when he adapted a book, The Orchid Thief, he still managed to create a wholly original script based around it. That’s the beauty of creativity and film. In the end, anyone can make something slightly different enough, and justify calling it original.

Look at the remake of 3:10 to Yuma. Virtually identical scripts from original B/W film, now with Russell Crowe’s eyes shining back at you. Or Kenneth Branagh’s breathtaking Hamlet. That was a film that was nominated for a best Adapted Screenplay Oscar. It was a word-for-word rendition of the Bard’s classic play. What was adapted? Well, assuming there wasn’t a glitzy hall of mirrors in Denmark, I’d say just about everything but the dialogue.

Sometimes, that’s all it takes to liven up an already familiar world: A little polish of your surroundings, and the rest will sound good as new, even though it’s much the same. Take it from me. I once tried to grow a beard, change things, next thing I know I’m loading a musket for a Civil War Re-enactment. I don’t shoot play guns. I shoot for real. (What now?)

At ease.

Sgt. Angle.