Happy V-Day boys and girls!

I’m here today to issue a warning. With love in the air, it’s not abnormal to have thoughts stray towards marriage. Marriage leads to children, and children lead to trouble. Here in the real world, children are troublesome enough, running around, spreading germs, eating things what aught not be ate. In the land of comics though, children are far more terrifying. Let me explain:

In comic books, children always are extremely problematic. I’m not talking about “Billy got in a fight” or “Sally skinned her knee”, I mean really problematic. For example, let’s take a look at the Power Pack. This group of four precocious children found a spaceship one day housing a walking my little pony who granted them all the superpower of getting into deep S%!t.

In real life, if your child comes home boasting of a play date with a dangerous alien, you give them a good spanking and a rabies shot, but sadly, this is not the way of things in comics. The Power Pack lasted for almost a decade with those children running around, fighting crime, and giving their poor parents heart attacks every night.

There is also the problem of genetic defects within your child. Once upon a time, Spartans would smash defective infants on the rocks. While this is might seem inhumane, you never heard about mutants going around starting trouble back then. A perfect example of this would be Cable. This baby was a mutant who got thrust into the future, infected with an incurable virus, and was supposed to be host body for an ageless dictator. That never happened to the Greeks!

There are endless examples of the terror that comic book children cause, but I’m not going to bore you with them. I just want you to remember this Valentine’s day that before you get too amorous, think about the Power Pack. Consider yourself warned and have a great Valentine’s day folks! See you tomorrow.