Happy Mother’s Day folks!

This week we are taking a look at a selection by James Ninness. James is the writer of MYTHOI, and one of the writers on THE UNDERGROUNDS (he is the man responsible for the Wolfman). James also has a few other top secret projects in the works, but that is a topic of conversation for another day.

Unlike some writers, James strives to not get pinned into one writing style. He is constantly looking for new ways to tell a story. The piece that I am about to share with you is an example of that. The following is a story titled “Somebody” from James’ website, The Word Ride. Enjoy!

It takes some very large balls to keep me waiting.

I’m sorry.  There was an accident on the freeway, it was backed up into East County.

I know.

Yes.  Yes of course you do.  That’s what makes you, you, isn’t it?  So what can I do for–

I need you to stop writing your blog.

My blog?

Yes.  You’re confusing people.

Well, shouldn’t that flatter you?  The confusion, I mean.

No.  People are starting to lose respect for me.

Oh!  Wow.  Really?  I would have thought the opposite.

Thankfully, what you think is of no concern to me.  I’ve spent the better part of 2000 years building this reputation and I won’t have you–

Hello gentlemen!  My name is Kristy.  Can I start you off with anything to drink?

Oh.  Yes, of course.  I’ll take a water please.

Certainly.  And for you sir?

Gin and Tonic: 2 limes, squeezed at the bottom with more gin than tonic.  I mean that.  I want you to scare the gin with the threat of tonic – that’s all.

Okay.  I’ll get those right up.

You know it’s 9AM, right?

You know I live eternal, right?

Oh yeah.  Okay.  That’s nice, huh?

Meh.  It has its uses.  As I was saying:  I’ve spent the last 2000 years establishing a particular persona and you’re destroying it with your blog.  You need to stop.

I can understand that, but wouldn’t you rather people understand the truth?

Truth?  What do you know about truth?

Obviously I know a little something.  You’re here aren’t you?  Telling me to stop writing?  I’d say I hit a nerve with what I’m saying…

You can be annoying and simultaneously far from truth.

I guess that’s so.

I know it is.

Here you are gentlemen: one water and one gin and tonic.  Did you guys want to order anything?

No.

No, thank you.  This’ll be fine.

Okay, my name is–

Kristy.  You told us.

Oh.  Yes, I guess I did.  Let me know if I can get you anything else.

No need to be rude to her.

No.  No need.  Like I said, I’ve got a reputation to uphold.

But she doesn’t even know who, or what you are.  All you’ve done is discourage her.

I guess you’re right.  Perhaps I should reveal my true nature?  Horns.  Fire.  Brimstone.  I bet that would ruin her day a bit as well?

Yeah, I wanted to ask you about that.  Why do you care so much about my blog when you seem to have spent the majority of your time trying to fool people into thinking you don’t eve exist?

If I don’t exist, than neither does he, and that suits me.  But if I exist and I’m not such a bad guy, then I’m simply unimportant.

Hmm…  I see.  You’d rather sit on a throne of lies than walk aimlessly without power?

You could say that.  Wouldn’t you?

I don’t know.  I don’t envy you, if that’s what you’re asking.

Well I don’t need you to understand, I just need you to stop.  You’re destroying my reputation.

Then tell me I’m wrong.

About what?

People say you are the source of all evil in the world, right?

I’ve heard that.

But He created you, right?

Yes.

Then isn’t He the true source of all evil?

He is the source of all things.

Then what are you?

Exactly.

Exactly?

Exactly.  I’m a nobody.  I’m a scapegoat.

And you’re okay with that?

Refills?

Yes, Kristy.  That would be lovely.

Sure.

You’re okay with people blaming you for everything bad that happens?

Every time somebody gives me responsibility for their actions I get a bit more powerful.  Their faith in my own influence grows substantially, as does my power.

I see.

No you don’t.

Here you go, gentlemen.

Thanks.

Good job, Kristy.

What do you mean, I don’t?

You don’t.  You think you’ve got everything all figured out, but your mind can’t wrap itself around my very existence.  That’s why humans have always associated me with things – it makes it easier to contain me when you have an image or an idea to box me into.  The horns, the spike-tail, the pitch fork…

And if you can make that area of containment huge…

Then I gain respect, power and possibility.

Interesting.

So, I need you to stop writing all this nonsense about him as the origin of good and evil.  Stop giving him all the credit.

But isn’t it His?  You just said–

Maybe.  Maybe not.  I’m a liar, right?

I suppose.  But to be honest, you don’t seem like such a bad guy.  Just…power hungry.

We all want to be somebody.

Okay.  So say I stop writing, then what?

You’ll have my gratitude.

No offense, but your gratitude doesn’t inspire me to any action.

Well, he‘d probably appreciate it to.

Would He?  You think?

Yes, I do.  I don’t imagine he fancies being referenced as the origin of evil.  He needs me to be a scapegoat as much as I do.  It’s mutually beneficial.

Okay then.  But what if I said no.  What if I wrote anyways, despite the both of you?

That’s ill-advised.

Why?

The last time somebody challenged him they became me.

Oh.  Yes.  I see.

Well, I’m off.  You can get the tab, yes?

Uh, yeah.  Sure.  Can I ask you something?

Quickly.

Why not just smite me, or kill me, or whatever it is you do…

Who says I won’t?

Huh.  Kind of a bastard aren’t you?

That’s the truest thing you’ll ever say.