Sgt. Angle reporting for duty!

Without delay, I present to you my Celluloid Salute to the best of the best in 2010 films. I’ll hit you with a brief summation and then the warrant for the film’s inclusion in this edition of the year-end Salute.

Best Films

10. The Book of Eli. Denzel Washington is Eli, a wandering bad-ass with a secret book in post-apocalyptic America, who battles a powerful land baron on his quest to bring the book to a group of rebuilders. Gary Oldman and Mila Kunis co-star in the Hughes Brothers’ powerful follow-up to From Hell.

The Commendations: An unforgettable gunfight, Kunis’s eyes, and the simple reveal of a nametag. (Yes, there’s a bigger twist, but the name tag says mountains more.)

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9. How to Train Your Dragon. As a good soldier, I know what it means to have weaklings around when you least need them. However, the concept to follow here is that your enemy always has a bigger enemy, and understanding them will only lead to greater victories. A monument to animation as well as 3D, this tale of a young viking learning to work with a misunderstood foe in the face of the greater villain is touching and violent, just the way a good children’s movie should be.

The Commendations: Good ol’ computer animation.

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8. Let Me In. I will forever tell you how much BETTER the original (Let

the Right One In) is than this American interpretation of the book. However, as a movie, Let Me In succeeds as great cinematic storytelling in the horror genre. Not merely settling for jump-scares, Matt Reeves’ teenage vampire drama trumps other romance tales with its’ middle-America backdrop, the simple desires of the characters and simple needs of the “bad guy” to only satisfy his one and only companion, who will defend you to the death if it means you will keep each other happy.

The Commendations: Richard Jenkins.

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7. Inception. No list could be complete without this movie. I won’t even try to explain the dream-within a dream disguised as another dream storyline, suffice it to say that Leonardo DiCaprio’s team of dream invaders must plant an idea before their lives can return to normal. And the visual planes for each layer are spectacular.

The Commendations: Story and plot snaffus aside, the visuals and practical effects are stunning, and

Christopher Nolan still manages to create an intriguing world to hold our interest throughout the viewing time. Props to Nolan’s vision, and Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s vest.

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6. Winter’s Bone. A modern noir plot structure, Bone features a star-making performance for Jennifer Lawrence as a teenager in search of her father before her family loses its’ home for good in the deep south — the land of Crystal Meth. Despite the appearance that this is a “boring indie” film, the contents prove otherwise, and the challenging twists and turns which face our main character force us to root for her despite her steely resolve and perhaps even misguided determination.

The Commendations: John Hawkes’ performance will brighten his already talented star in the Hollywood sky.

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5. The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. (I think I just enjoy dragons).

Despite your misgivings, as a lover of the book, to appreciate this film wholly, I still maintain that the movie is a fine example of intriguing filmmaking. Our two main characters, a magazine editor under investigation and a computer hacker, don’t truly meet until well into the middle of the film, but each could hold their own for an individual movie if it was needed, if the need arose. This is the story of corruption to the highest levels, and the classic detective tale involving the disappearance years ago of a family friend of an esteemed patriarch holds just as much suspense and weight as Lisbeth’s tale of abuse and revenge.

The Commendations: Noomi Rapace, in the year’s finest performance. Bar none.

4. Scott Pilgrim Vs. the World. Edgar Wright’s third film is perhaps his finest. Michael Cera is Scott Pilgrim, an aimless twentysomething who falls in love with the girl of his dreams and has to fight her seven evil exes in order to be with her and move on to the next stage in his life. A charming, multi-faceted cast, amazing visuals, and non-stop story keeps us locked in our seats.

The Commendations: Brandon Routh and special appearance by Thomas Jane. Also, Kieran Culkin.

3. Black Swan. Darren Aronofsky shocked the movie-going community

by presenting us with a sorrowful Mickey Rourke a few years back in

The Wrestler. Here is the companion piece, this time with a beautifully rendered performance from Natalie Portman as a ballerina learning to accept her instincts and put them on full display for a performance of “Swan Lake.” A psychological horror tale with chills and intensely dramatic fears brought to life.

The Commendations: Vincent Cassel and Barbara Hershey.

2. The Social Network. The movie may not blow you away visually, but the dialogue alone will leave you breathless. Aaron Sorkin constructed this script after reading only a 14-page treatment for the book it was based on, Accidental Billionaires, the true story behind the founding of Facebook. Mark Zuckerberg risks friendship and his education to invent a website based out of revenge for the loneliness he has created for himself. If the general characterizations are altered from the real life counterparts, the details remain, and the facts of the lawsuits which build the film’s triangular structure remain intact. This is a modern story about friendship, ambition, and personal destruction in the name of success.

The Commendations: Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross’s score, Andrew Garfield, and Armie Hammer.

1. True Grit. The Coen Brothers tackle the classic Western genre in this adaptation of the book. Starring Jeff Bridges and Hailee Steinfeld as Mattie Ross, this is the story of a young girl’s quest to bring her father’s killer to justice, and the U.S. Marshal who helps her first out of pity, then appreciation of her will.

The Commendations: Young Hailee is mesmerizing, and Matt Damon’s mustache dazzles. Josh Brolin’s brief appearance lends a possibly game-changing perspective on the proceedings, much like that name tag mentioned for Book of Eli.

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The Rest of the Best:

Moments to savor

–The Melodramatic introduction to Shutter Island’s walls for DiCaprio’s troubled agent.

–Kick-Ass’s wham-blam sequence in which Big Daddy blasts the gangsters in the warehouse.

–Exit Through the Gift Shop — In which art is questioned by the unidentifiable Banksy.

–Dumpster sequence of Toy Story 3

–The opening of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 1, in which Hermione says goodbye to her parents without a word.

–Geoffrey Rush casually sits in the king’s chair in The King’s Speech

Performance Envy

–Christian Bale in The Fighter

Badass Thievery Device

–The Contortionist unfolding in Micmacs

Edge of your Seat Thrill

–The passing of the note in the final moment of The Ghost Writer.

Film Score You Should Now Own

–Tron: Legacy

Poster of the Year

Trailer of the Year

Iconic Movie Image of the Year

–From Inception

Walking on Walls

Cheers to 2011, another (hopefully) great year for film.

You are dismissed!

Sgt. Angle

Sgt. Angle Reporting for Duty!

As the year 2010 finally wraps up, we should take a moment to review what’s come before, in the hopes to change what might soon be.

Thanks to Avatar’s monstrous haul in late 2009, we are going to have a continuous barrage of 3D movies in release for a good few years, and they’ll hopefully go the way of the dodo bird before they cycle back in another decade or so. Perhaps by then Johnny Depp will grow a set of cajones large enough to say “no” to Tim Burton when the likes of Alice in Wonderland rears its’ ugly head.

3D I can support.

Don’t get me wrong, I have virtually no problem with cartoons, or movies like How to Train Your Dragon or Toy Story 3, arriving in 3D to wow the different parts of your eyes. But when that third dimension is added in post, months after filming, you get a chop-chopped version of “reality” such as Clash of the Titans or The Last Airbender.

The post-conversion process, otherwise known as Stereoscopy, is a late addition to cinematic technology, wherein the movie is not filmed in 3D but is filtered and adjusted after editing is complete. James Cameron has spoken out against this process, rather harshly, as it defeats the general purpose of a 3D film.

Other films use 3D incorrectly, more as a gimmick rather than a storytelling tool. Avatar’s use of 3D, believe it or not, only helped the otherwise flimsy story and script. The world was given depth and originality, and we were immersed within that world. Unlike, say, Step Up 3D where we’re almost kicked in the face by dancing, people’s body parts flying at the screen in an attempt to make an impact where, emotionally, there is otherwise nothing to write home about.

Or how about Piranha 3D, a gluttonous, over-reaching, gross insult to a sense of humor that plays up the very same gimmicks that any 3D film has to offer, only to end up lost and confused, not knowing if it wanted to be a horror flick or a comedy spoof.

Full credit is due to sometime-hack Paul W.S. Anderson, whose sequel number… whatever… Resident Evil: After Life, was filmed using the same kinds of cameras that Cameron developed for Avatar. Even the ads made a big deal that Resident Evil used the same technology developed by Cameron.

She’s falling on ME. in 3D!

To skip to the essentials of this post, 3D is becoming the death of the movie-going experience and needs to stop. Ticket prices get jacked $3 a pop for 3D films (theaters will claim it’s to cover the cost of the glasses and the technology to project the movies, studios will say that the extra cost covers the camera or the conversion processes), the post-conversion process leads to horrendous assaults on the eyes, and storytelling generally suffers (okay, so Toy Story 3 had a great story, but also had the Pixar factor).

But fret not, strange fans of a 3rd dimension on the big screen. Next year, we’re in store for these wonderful peaches:

XXX: The Return of Xander Cage

Green Hornet

Sanctum

Justin (EFFING) Beiber

Drive Angry

Mars Needs Moms!

Sucker Punch!

Rio

Thor

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides

Green Lantern

The Smurfs

The Threee Musketeers

You are dismissed and are NOT required to see any of the above mentioned movies!

Sgt. Angle

Sgt. Angle Reporting for Duty!

At the risk of following the herd of movie writers and providing information you can probably read about anywhere else in the country this week, I’m going to present to you (get it, present??) a short list of Christmas film necessaries. This is by no means a definitive list of movies you need to watch around the holidays, yet I also don’t think you’ll be able to resist most of them based on the reasons provided. They’re not only movies to sit through while your family argues over turkey or any other holiday fixin’ — these are movies you can probably enjoy in a number of other environments and points during the year, based solely on how your mood sits with you. (*Note that I am fully aware of the strength of several glaring omissions, including Elf, Ernest Saves Christmas, It’s a Wonderful Life and White Christmas. These are permanently epic holiday movies. We all know and love them. Get over it.)

1. SCROOGED. No holiday film collection is complete without this classic, and there has been no modern retelling of the classic Dickens tale to rival this one. Also, Bill Murray is your star. He plays a cynical, stingy TV Network executive whose one regret is putting his career before any sort of love or attachment. His fate is at stake when he is visited by three eccentric ghosts on Christmas Eve. Funny and horrific, even a bit touching — if melodramatic — Scrooged will make you think twice about watching the love of your life walk away while you go to work in the morning.

2. HOME ALONE. Macauley Culkin — future occupant of my “High Low Country” blog — eats up all of his screen time in this John Hughes-scripted tribute to every child’s fantasy (a house to himself) becoming a cartoonish nightmare right on the Christmas holiday. Shooting Joe Pesci with a pellet gun means he will soon fight back by blasting you through the chest with his own mammoth pistol (lesson learned by Spider in Goodfellas), but Kevin McCallister is no joke when it comes to cat burglers.

3. THE REF. Speaking of cat burglers, here’s a film that celebrates the holiday season, dysfunctional families, and the thief with a heart of gold themes, all with the sublime talents of Denis Leary and Kevin Spacey. Leary is the burgler who takes this bickering family hostage during a simple house robbery, and unwittingly becomes the family therapist during Christmas dinner. Hilarious when I watched it at 12, and still funny now.

4. KISS KISS BANG BANG. An underrated and underappreciated instant classic from Shane Black, creator of Lethal Weapon and The Last Boy Scout. This film was his directorial debut and, for many cinephiles, signified the start of Robert Downey, Jr.‘s comeback.

5. CHRISTMAS VACATION. Come on and tell me this wasn’t an instant classic in your household? Cousin Eddie? Glass reindeer mugs? Juliette Lewis gets her eyelids frozen open? Fantastic timing and perhaps one of the last great Chevy Chase films.

6. LOVE ACTUALLY. Guys: Put this movie on and if your girl doesn’t curl into a ball next to you on the couch, you’re doing it wrong. Girls: Put this movie on and cuddle up next to your man, and if he doesn’t place his arm around you to tell you he loves you, then touch his crotch.

7. GRUMPY OLD MEN. The screenwriting debut of future Daredevil and Ghost Rider helmer Mark Steven Johnson. He would go on to write another Christmas tale, Jack Frost, but a dud dad coming back to life as a snowman is no match for old dudes bickering. Give me Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau arguing and throwing dead fish in each others’ cars any day over Betty White talking dirty.

Merry Holidays and Happy Christmas.

You are on leave.

Sgt. Angle

Sgt. Angle Reporting for duty!

Better late than never!

Golden Globe nominations were announced this morning. Before you start gloating how proud you are to be a Gleek today, or bow at your alter of Johnny Depp, consider that the Hollywood Foreign Press Association is simply the little kid who holds out his hand when papa comes home and only wants the candy, not a hug. They leech off talent, off celebrity, walk home with their fancy-pants swag bags without any sense of true appreciation for the art form.

Realize that, for most of the last decade, the HFPA has suckled at the corroded teet of Clint Eastwood, heaping praise on the ol’guy despite meager, slightly better than mediocre films which spared originality for cliches aplenty. How intriguing it is that last year featured a single, solitary nomination for Invictus (for Eastwood himself as director). How the mighty have fallen…

This year, the Globes proved they still have no sense of rhythm on the pulse of film and television appreciation. There are global audiences for classic films, but they are not members of the HFPA. Taken directly from the HFPA’s website: “Each year HFPA members interview more than 400 actors, directors, writers and producers, as well as reporting from film sets and seeing more than 300 films…”

More could be said, but there it is in a nutshell: The Hollywood Foreign Press Association is comprised of nothing more than snotty, privileged journalists who spend their time hobnobbing on movie sets and in the company of superstars and multi-talented performers. If Eastwood rejected an interview, would he be shunned a golden orb? If a reporter is not granted a full access credential on a film set, do you think that movie will get a fair write-up? People will always form a biased opinion when they feel they’ve been cheated out of feeling privileged and special.

One wonders what steps the Coen Brothers took on the set of True Grit to win ZERO nominations for one of the top three films of the year (my full list will breach the shores of the internet just after Christmas). I don’t want to go off on who got snubbed (Jeff Bridges, Leo DiCaprio, Ben Affleck), who got looked over (Hailee Steinfeld), or who remains an inexplicable nominee (Johnny Depp, The Tourist, Angelina Jolie). That list is too long and the task to monumental.

Nikkie Finke said it best this morning on DeadlineHollywood.com: “I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: it’s a completely meaningless awards show by a scandal-riddled organization on a network desperate for ratings. That’s why I opt out of analyzing the nominations every year: because the Golden Globes have zero integrity. Studios and networks who lavishly lobby the HFPA almost always score nominations. Stars win in direct correlation to their glamour quotient. Everything about the awards is geared towards hyping the media’s interest and the telecast’s ratings…”

Finke is right, and we can only hope that the Oscars don’t ever follow suit. The Academy Awards are, on this day still, the last bastion of “classic,” genuine awards.

The only globes that truly matter.

Now go see a good movie, and appreciate it.

You are dismissed!

Sgt. Angle

Sgt. Angle reporting for duty!

Forget what you know or don’t know about “memes.” Today you’re going to look at a few of them, then do some exploring for yourself.

Your Sgt. is on assignment, and will be drawing up several reports over the next few weeks — some of them ongoing investigations — that require more research and prep time. Got to get you the right information before handing it off, otherwise you may not follow orders.

In the meantime, enjoy the images below.

Using a candid photo of Leo strutting…put him where you want him to be.

A classic, for the font in all of us.

I show you these because I laughed at these, and you should laugh, too. Also, my actual report turned out to be full of typos and insufficient data — much like Julie Taymor’s upcoming version of The Tempest contain awful music and overproduced melodramatic bearings, despite the meaty acting at the heart of it all. If you’re shooting on a private Hawaiian island for free, at least have the decency to dedicate more of your budget to the final CG work you burden unto Shakespeare.

Guess that does not bode well for her Spider-Man: Turn off the Dark musical. Good luck with Swiss Miss!

Who wants an Inception musical? With a scene like this, you couldn’t go wrong.

You are dismissed from this article, which serves as nothing more than a drill for your fine attention and reading skills.

Sgt. Angle.

Sgt. Angle Reporting for Duty!

It’s the holiday season, but I’m not going to dwell on “holiday movies” just yet — there’s a lacking in the Kwanzaa film department anyway, so there’s not even enough to please everyone.

That being said, I wanted to tackle a minor importance in the movie world — the movie viewing world, that is: The Etiquette — or lack thereof.

It’s called movie etiquette, folks. I know I’m going to go off on a bit of a rant here, so I’ll try to keep it civil — especially with the kids in the other room. When we are at the movies, enjoying the visual, aural, community experience, there are some rules you must adhere to in your quest to enjoy your snacks. I use the word “must” lightly. These are not laws, but guidelines. They are not merely guidelines to semi-follow, but they are regulations that will give you the best out of the entire filmgoing experience. Why does this matter? “It’s just a movie,” blah blah blah. Well, it’s also at least $10 that you’ve shelled out to sit in a chair for two plus hours, and everyone around you has paid the same toll for the experience. Get used to the fact that most everything you do will have an effect on someone else in this universe.

1) First off, the snacks. The plastic bags which never seem to open, the straws that only seem to suck the end of the beverage very loudly when the main character on screen is having a good cry. Or the soupy cheesy nacho sauce that ends up on the back of your neck when the chick behind you just can’t squeeze through her aisle.

2) Candy bags. Open them BEFORE the movie. I don’t need the crunching plastic noise in my ear while Harry Potter and Hermione discuss a key plot point before the movie kicks into high gear.  Also, despite your attempts to be more stealth that James Bond at a baccarat game, the quieter you try to make the opening of the bag, the more noise you make. Treat your pea-nutty goober gummies like a band-aid and rip that sucker open in one clean swoop.

3) Beverages. If you can’t find the hole for the straw to enter the lid, remove the lid and take a sip. Your whispered cusses and use of your phone’s light to find a simple plastic hole in a lid do nothing but make me want to punch a pillow with your face underneath it.

4) Anything hot. Good luck with that hot dog that’s been rotating since ten AM. This is a movie theater, not a dinner buffet. Keep your expensive Chinese take out at home or in the fridge, and stick to the snack foods. If you’re that hungry that you need to eat an entire meal in the two hours it takes this movie to finish, then maybe you should spend your $12.50 on a burger and half-salad rather than a ticket to a movie you’re rather not pay attention to.

OTHER ETIQUETTE

5) The Walk Out. I have never walked out of a movie. Ever. I have seen some terrible movies, some bad movies, and several movies in the theater more than once. But I’ve never walked out. If you are so inclined to leave the theater, as well as the cost of admission, then do so quietly. I don’t care how much “this movie sucks” or that you’d “rather be sleeping”, just get out of the theater and leave me be. It’s unfortunate that you have the attention span of a pea, but I don’t need to hear about it.

6) The Phone. Some theaters have toyed with the idea of employing a device that would cut off all cell service to prevent distractions. But this may lead to emergency situations becoming dangerous, so I don’t think it’ll happen. If you get a text or a call during a movie, or have a sudden urge to Tweet about your oncoming diarrhea, then you better have night vision goggles because that light is a distraction not only to my viewing of the movie but also to your ability to listen. Turn off all cell phones, prevent distracting other viewers from their experience. That’s right, there are other people here besides you. Get used to it. You’re not an island.

7) Chatterbox. This is not only the name of a cafe in Lake Wobegon, it is a name for a subset of rude and pretentious moviegoers who have no respect for, again, the attention span of other people. You know, the community around you. Shut up once those lights go down. If you’re not following the movie, give it a chance. If you still have a question at the end, ask a neighbor. If you’ve figured out what he’s about to do with that gun, keep it to yourself. You don’t need to show off to the person sitting next to you that you’ve solved the mystery we’ve all paid $14 to see (yeah, I think the ticket prices have risen that much since I started writing this piece). If I shush you, and you just laugh back at me, than I will shush you for real with my knuckle-sandwich (the cold one). This ain’t an Elizabethan Age theatre crowd, this is a movie.

Late arrival. If you walk into a theater and the movie has already started (I’m not talking previews, I’m talking actual feature presentation) then turn right the hell around and leave, get your money back. Nine times out of ten you’ll end up sitting next to me, or in front of me, and then ask me what you’ve missed. I’m not going to tell you what you’ve missed, you know why? Because if you didn’t have the foresight to get there on time, you’re not going to have the superhuman ability to understand what I’m talking about without having seen it for yourself. Get out of my show.

9) Kicker. Stop kicking the back of my seat, or any other seat in front of you. Again, this is because you have no idea that there are other people around you. That’s right, every time your toe “accidentally” hits the seat in front of you, it’s like a damn earthquake. I’m not going to talk to you about every kick, but take care to know that you are not alone, that I will find you in a crowded theater, even with the lights off, and demonstrate with my own foot you what you’ve done.

You are dismissed — after the credits roll!

Sgt. Angle

Sgt. Angle Reporting for Duty!

127 Hours — Five out of Five Rifles.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 — Three out of Five Rifles (a whole rifle cracked for the fact that this tale was split in two)

Due Date — Two Rifles and an unloaded Rifle out of Five fully loaded rifles.

Unstoppable — Stop it.

But beyond those movies, we have something else to talk about this week. It will be brief, because this person is still up-and-coming in the film world. But she’s worth discussing because she’s made an impression with each of her roles thus far. Malin Akerman.

I won’t go into a hard bio of Malin, suffice it to say that she was born in Swedan and her mother was a model. Look at her photo, and tell me that I didn’t need to tell you that bit of information.

After a few years of modeling and some commercial work, Malin appeared in The Brothers Soloman and The Showbiz Show with David Spade as a correspondant. She then garnered a co-starring role in The Heartbreak Kid and appeared alongside freakshow Katherine Heigl in 27 Dresses.

Somewhere in there she apparently already hit the Low Country in a film called Heavy Petting. Check out the poster and figure out how many ways to tell me this movie looks terrible, just going by the poster alone.

Watchmen came and showed us that Akerman respected genre pieces and fans as much as her own career. I’ve heard tell, through hearsay, that she enjoyed the movie and the fact that the fans enjoyed it, even though it didn’t haul a lot of cash. Again, this is a hearsay paraphrased quote, possibly overheard during a breakfast by an unseen wallflower.

Akerman starred as Silk Spectre II in Watchmen, fulfilling many a young man’s fantasy in a sex scene while wearing her costumed hero boots.

She also fulfilled no one’s fantasy by appearing in Couples Retreat and The Proposal. Because these films were successes at the box office, Malin Akerman is well on her way to becoming a household name.

In her down time, she met her husband, Roberto Zincone, when she sang lead for the band The Petalstones.

Akerman has a slew of pictures coming up with big names — Catch .44 with Bruce Willis (a thriller/crime drama), The Bang Bang Club with Ryan Phillippe (a drama set in South Africa), and Wanderlust with Jennifer Aniston and Paul Rudd (a comedy from David Wain). Malin is also a co-star in Elektra Luxx, a comedy about a pornstar who gets pregnant.

Recently, it was announced that Malin has been offered the role of Linda Lovelace in the docu-drama Inferno, based on Lovelace’s autobiography. Lindsay Lohan was supposed to play the role, but it’s easier to ensure a one-eyed tiger than Lohan these days. After Luxx, Inferno will represent Malin’s second foray into the porn story universe.

She’s got an eclectic resume and is only just past thirty. Here’s hoping Malin Akerman remains only in The High Country.

You are on leave.

Sgt. Angle.

Sgt. Angle Reporting for Duty!

Two weeks ago, I dove deep into a discussion of the mockumentary genre in film, and how filmmakers will test the intelligence and loyalty of the audience by providing a false sense of reality as if it were truly real. To further the discussion of how film can toy with an audience’s attention span, let us this week explore a sub-genre of the mockumentary: the Found Footage Film.

(There is a movie that is considered the start of this genre, Cannibal Holocaust. I have not seen it, but from all descriptions it is disgusting and involved actual killing of animals. I choose not to discuss it here.)

Unlike Forgotten Silver — the great Peter Jackson movie we discussed last time — which is ABOUT the found footage, an actual discovered footage movie serves the purpose of embedding the viewer “in the moment” that the footage takes place. Perhaps one of the most famous movies that kicked off this phenomenon was the unexpected (and sometimes inexplicable) successful Blair Witch Project, about a few kids who set off to explore the legend of a terror in the woods, and find themselves the victims (or something like that. My memory of this film is that it was an unsuccessful, disturbing, incomplete mission of storytelling, so I’m not going to bother reading the synopsis again).

Blair Witch was misunderstood by some as to be “real” footage, because the actors mostly improvised, and their reactions were often real because the directors took it upon themselves to withhold information from time to time about when the “terror” would strike next, and how. Because the reactions and the screaming are real, perhaps that is why audiences were disturbed as much as they were — or maybe it was the unsteady handywork of the handheld cameras, the dizziness that ensued, and the snot dripping from the girl’s nose.

Drip. Drip.

Whatever the case, Blair Witch raked in over $140 million domestically, on a budget of $60,000, so began the long and tested relationship moviegoers still have with “being duped.” Below is a short list of other “found footage” movies, some better than others, and one that pushes the genre even further by showing us “documentary” footage of aliens.

That movie is, of course, probably the best of the bunch: District 9.

Taking the world by storm in 2009, District 9 follows an alternate version of South Africa where aliens have been stranded and placed into a restricted zone for the last twenty years. As authorities try to herd the aliens to a new location, one human becomes entangled in their culture in an interesting way. The documentary style is chopped up halfway through with “normal” movie storytelling, mixing fiction with “reality”, nevertheless being entirely fictional. Talking heads, typical of many documentaries, offer the film a true sense of realism that drives home the story’s character and emotional arcs poignantly.

Another found footage alien movie that is perhaps more mainstream is Cloverfield, which covers a monster/alien attack seen through the eyes of three desperate New Yorkers trying to save a young lady friend while being sure to stop and take a picture of the angry alien every chance they get. The problems with the conceit of the film — besides silly and unlikeable characters who make awful decisions — are two fold: 1) No camera’s battery would last that long. 2) Drop the damn camera and worry about surviving. Enough said, soldier.

Former CHUD columnist Devin Faraci pointed out that horror is the owner of the found-footage genre, what with recent flicks Paranormal Activity, Rec 2, and The Fourth Kind messing with audiences’ acceptance of what is real and what is fake. Faraci also makes an interesting point, that the very concept of “found footage” is not unique to film alone. Books and stories, dating back to the 19th Century (Dracula, anyone?) would be presented as discovered letters and diary entries of actual people, such that we must be reading something true, if it’s all in a letter written between two people. Perhaps Akatzen can contribute in an upcoming “Book Report” on the “discovered letters” concept in books, how it came to be, and thus adds to the shaping of the conceit in the film world?

The director of Paranormal Activity is continuing his foray into the “discovered footage” world with the film Area 51, which is about three teenagers’ horrifying adventure into the top-secret facility.

The alien world will also be explored with the Timur Bekmambetov / Weinstein’s collaboration Apollo 18. The concept of the movie is based on a conspiracy theory revolving around the “cancelled” Apollo 19 and 20 space missions. “Legend” has it that these missions actual DID happen, that they were joint US/Soviet missions, and they were executed to explore wreckage of a space craft photographed by Apollo 18. The exploration allegedly led to the discovery of a female alien. See the odd video below.

The Found Footage genre isn’t going anywhere any time soon, and will most likely get bigger in the next year or two — found footage of a superhero or villain, perhaps, or of vampires and werewolves lurking behind coffee shop counters. Wherever the concept takes us will only more sharply define the role that films — fact or fiction — have in the overall “duped” culture of Americans.

In the next installment of Trickery! Tomfoolery! we’ll look at docu-dramas and biopics — how a fictionalized version of the truth is more often than not mistaken for the truth. Thanks to Oliver Stone and the like.

Until next time: You are DISMISSED!

Sgt. Angle

Sgt. Angle Reporting for Duty!

I owe you a new installment of Trickery and Tomfoolery in Film, but I think I’d rather show you some cool impersonations that have caught my attention either for the first time or are golden oldies.

The first is a clip from a recent Saturday Night Live (which will link to Hulu…yeah). It’s a bunch of “screen tests” for Back to the Future, and Bill Hader strikes you with the best Alan Alda you can get without getting Alan Alda.

The second is a showdown between Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon, a “Caine-off” showdown. May the best Michael Caine impression win.

And here’s Kevin Spacey laying out some Christopher Walken and Jack Nicholson — he can do much better than this, but it’s not bad.

This is an intense David Caruso impersonation courtesy Jim Carrey.

This last one is non-speaking, and I find it the most interesting because it’s an impression of Charlie Chaplin, a master of disguise and filmmaker who was able to make people respect and love the value of the moviegoing experience. The video involves the famous dinner roll dance that Chaplin did in The Gold Rush, and which is emulated here by Johnny Depp and Robert Downey, Jr. in  Benny and June and Chaplin, respectively. The difference, obviously, is that Downey is actually playing Chaplin, whereas Depp is just a nut.

And now I leave you to ponder the fact that David Caruso is still starring in CSI: Miami.

**Will return next week with the next in the “Trickery! Tomfoolery!” series.

You are dismissed!

Sgt. Angle

Sgt. Angle Reporting for Duty!

Late last week, a video exploded in all galaxies of the internet, and will have quietly imploded by the time you read this. The video is from the premiere of Charlie Chaplin’s The Circus in 1928.

The gentleman posting the video has a theory that the woman is a time traveler. With enough convincing, and a little imagination, she is. All we need to see is the video of a woman in the ‘20s holding something unseen to her ear and talking. Our imagination will take care of the rest. It’s what makes reading a book so thrilling, and what makes the power of cinema so frightening.

I write now (right now), of course, about the influential power of movies — from propaganda to creative manipulation of facts and fiction, from documentaries to mockumentaries to political rally films, the cinema is the one place where people across the globe will believe the sights before them as if they’re all completely true — “I saw it! It was right there!”

What’s the quote? “You ever seen a million dollars?” “No.” “Well just because you haven’t seen it, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.” So if I see a million bucks, it must be real — the gray area forms when you ask me who owns the million bucks. I tell you it’s me, you tell me it’s you, when the only thing we both really know is that it’s there.

I digress — in a bad way — so let me get to this week’s topic (which just may be large enough to provide room for further installments in the near future) — the Trickery and Tomfoolery of Movies.

(*Note that below you may find some spoilers. Read at your own RISK*!)

First and foremost, let me try to avoid the dangers and pitfalls of political talk by drowning you in propaganda and political movies as a way of proving a point about the influential power of cinema. Let us first dive into the Mockumentary.

I’ll use one main example. The title is Forgotten Silver.

No, it’s not a movie about miners left underground for 69 days. This 1995 flick was directed by Peter Jackson and Costa Botes, and led the way for current movies such as I’m Still Here to try and manipulate the audience into thinking what it’s just seen is real by perpetuating the hoax through false advertising.

Silver revolves around the New Zealand silent filmmaker Colin McKenzie. “Recently found” footage, supposedly recorded by McKenzie, reveals that he had discovered color film, recorded the first tracking shot using a bicycle, and pioneered the recording of dialogue and sound-synching but never received the credit — because no one knew about it.

Jackson himself is a lead in the film, posing as himself as he “discovers” the lost footage and dives deeper into the life and history of New Zealand film history’s re-imagined past thanks to discovered filmmaker Colin McKenzie. Interviews with Sam Neill, Leonard Maltin, and Harvey Weinstein add to the flavor of authenticity.

When the film was broadcast on New Zealand television in 1995, there was an almost immediate uproar, and a call for film historians to place Colin McKenzie on his proper historical pedestal. The hoax was revealed a few days later, leading to angry letters and devastated, proud film fans. The entire film was a hoax, a carefully planned and executed mockumentary in the truest sense, and marketed as if the footage was entirely real and merely an historical documentary.

The term “mockumentary” has been around (according to the Oxford English Dictionary) since 1965. One of the earliest features in the genre was Woody Allen’s Take the Money and Run.

However, the modern form of the genre was spawned, many say, with This is Spinal Tap. Rob Reiner’s documentation of the world’s loudest rock band on their most recent tour, is complete fiction. But had there not been end credits, or if Reiner hadn’t been a household name by then, perhaps people might have believed that Spinal Tap was a true band.

Since Spinal Tap, films like Waiting for Guffman, Best in Show, and A Mighty Wind play with the (mock)documentary genre, basically showing us, the audience, that if you see it, you must believe it.

Recently, Casey Affleck’s I’m Still Here, about Joaquin Phoenix’s retirement from acting and his short-lived career as a rapper, posed some of the same questions about reality and perception by marketing itself as a documentary. Phoenix took on the persona of himself as a weirdo, a new rapper with an odd sense of self and quite possibly on drugs. The public bought this, at first, but the backlash occurred before the film’s release, with several news reports alleging it was all a hoax. The producers called for the reporters to rescind their comments, which only broadened the speculation.

Just days after I’m Still Here was released, Affleck and Phoenix both came clean, with Phoenix even reappearing on “The Late Show with David Letterman” clean-shaven and well-spoken. The experiment, you could say, failed from the start. In these days of quick communication and speculation spreading like wild-fire across the internet, it’s almost too difficult to manipulate a film’s audience before the initial release. Only in a smaller place, like New Zealand, almost 20 years ago, could you create this kind of minor hysteria for what we now watch as an obvious mockumentary.

There are many sub-genres of the mockumentary world — including television (The Office), “found footage” films (Blair Witch, Cloverfield), and even cross-genre offerings (District 9), but too many to go into in just one week.

One more film I want to point you to in the over-arching mockumentary genre is an interesting one, if only because it involves another filmmaker playing himself, but in such a way as to make the entire hour and a half adventure believable. Werner Herzog is known to be quite an eccentric filmmaker. As a teenager, he stole a 35mm camera from the Munich Film School. During an interview a few years ago, he was shot by a man with an air rifle, but kept the interview going as though nothing had happened. He once offered, as motivation to fellow documentarian Errol Morris, to eat his shoe if Morris would actually complete the film on pet cemeteries he’d only conceptualized up to that point.

Herzog Cooks his Shoe.

Footage of Herzog cooking and eating his shoe is featured in the documentary Werner Herzog Eats His Shoe by Les Blank. (*Side note, Werner Herzog could very well be the Most Interesting Man in the World.*)

In any case, Herzog and writer Zak Penn teamed up on Incident at Loch Ness. The conceit of the film is this: We are watching footage of a documentary called “Herzog in Wonderland” which is a study of Herzog’s work as he prepares filming “Enigma of Loch Ness,” which is a study of the Loch Ness monster myth. Zak Penn arrives to produce this film within a film within a film, and conjures up actors and a fake “Nessie” — until the film crew (played by real Herzog collaborators) are on the waters…and reality strikes. Or does it? The whole conceit of the film is that we’re watching Penn con a true filmmaker, but the filmmakers of Incident are conning us — or are they? Is the documentary “Herzog in Wonderland” the real con? Check out the trailer below, which gives us the impression that it’s a real documentary.

What will you choose to believe?

So ends part one of the study of cinematic trickery. Next time: Found Footage and Fooltomery.

You are dismissed!

Sgt. Angle