Sgt. Angle reporting for duty! (Look, this post may contain spoilers, so don’t say this isn’t a warning.) We still have time before the Halloween rush, so I’ll wait to give you the down low on the upcoming horror film season.

Where the Wild Things Are. #1 at the U.S.B.O. this past weekend, piling in an estimated $32.5 million bills for director Spike Jonze and Warner Bros. The success of Jonze’s five-year odyssey reminds us that you don’t have to treat a kid like a kid in order to win the kid’s dollars. You don’t have to Disney-ficate all over the genre in order to suck the soul of the young and innocent. How else can a kid cease to be a kid, and realize that it’s time to act like an adult, if you don’t treat him like one? Then again, why can’t we all stay kids forever, like this guy:

Dropped out at a very, very early age.

This year has given us a number of so-called “kids’ movies” that are more geared to sophisticated adults, teenagers with brains, and kids with loving parents who are willing to TEACH their young’ns about the seriousness that life offers, and that you can always turn those frowns upside-down. UP showed us that the cinematic experience can do so much with so little, as the first ten minutes should make you cry. If you did not well up in the first ten of “Up”, then you have no business calling yourself human. you basically have no soul. Go join Sam Worthington as an Avatar, you blue freak.

Just because you’ve been labeled a family film, or a kids’ movie, does not mean you have to have cute little backwards letters in your credits. You don’t have to douse eggs with syrup and hot sauce just to show you know how to have fun. You also can ignore the fact that dogs poop and grown-ups are goofy when they’re serious. Because you know what? When you get serious, you’re pretty goofy, too. But that’s because you don’t know what you are just yet, so it’s okay.

Here’s one lesson to remember, kid movies: You don’t have to have a daddy with issues who needs to learn how to care for his child. In today’s world, Mommy’s have problems, too. Why is it that we’re always watching the dad who needs to make more time for his kids, or the dad has to find a way to get a second job and pay alimony by working as a security guard at a museum? And how can Dick Van Dyke fight at night and then not feel sore in the A.M.?? WHY ARE OLD PEOPLE FUNNY?

Because they’re old.

But you know, kids are funny, too. Because kids always go for the simple solution. I’m not trying to be negative, or ageist, but kids say and do the darndest things just to prove themselves. And then, the sh*t hits the fan and they almost get chomped by sharks. Guess what, kids, the lesson of the day is DON’T GO SWIMMING. Or maybe you should dive in, because there are mermaids out there. Usually.

And hey, teen movies, you’re even worse. Because you’re basically disguised as teens, but you’re really over the age of 18. You’re unlawfully invading teenage kids’ personal space by protecting yourself with that little PG-13 rating (unless you’ve Disney-fied the MPAA to get your PG rating). Twilight, while being a less-than-satisfying crucifixion and butchering of the English language read in book format, is an accurate tribute of what NOT to teach your kids about love at a time when hormones are raging louder than an L.A. wildfire, and “love” is just a new word of the week.

So, in summation, go do yourself a favor and see Where the Wild Things Are. It won’t necessarily change your life, but it will force a perspective on it. If you’re an adult, you’ll look back on being a child, what you loved about it, what you hated, and the forts you used to build. If you’re a kid, and you’ve somehow been reading this post for the past few minutes, maybe you’ll think about the next time Mom tells you to get off the kitchen counter.

She demands it because she loves ya. She yells at you because she’d rather do that then eat you up. And if you can be a wild thing once in a while, from now on, no matter how old you are or what you look like or how grumpy you are if you wake up early because of a dog barking outside your window at six A.M., then go ahead. Be a wild thing.

Because this is where you are. You are –

“Yo, Sgt. Angle. I’mma let you finish. But first I have to say that Spike Jonze directed one of the best short films of all time. Starring me, Kanye West. Blow yo’ mind at the nine minute mark.” We Were Once a Fairytale.

http://www.vimeo.com/7130656

At ease.

Sgt. Angle

Kanyus Interruptus

http://cdn1.knowyourmeme.com/i/18944/original/Untitled.jpg

Kanyus Interruptus.