A few things have developed in the wide world of comics that I feel have fallen through the cracks like sweat beads on a fat woman — I’m here to divulge an opinion on such topics.

I hope you sweaty slobs had a good time at San Diego Comic Con last weekend.  It seems that Benjamin found himself staring into the diamond mines of a certain White Queen and for that reason alone, I wish I was there.  Save the gloriously revealed breasts and asses that abound in perfect curvature and a few little nuggets of news I have to admit that I’m not too jealous of missing out.  SDCC is, like an old man on blue pills, getting too damned big.

Guaranteed to make you hard as a diamond.

You may have heard that Mark Ruffalo and Joss Whedon have jumped onboard the Avengers movie as Bruce Banner and Director respectively.  I’ve gotten a few emails asking me my thoughts on this announcement and here it is: F*ck yes.  Something about Norton has never vibed with me — I think it’s his voice, he sounds like one of those guys who enjoys being right a bit too much.  Ruffalo on the other hand has always been a pleasure to watch on screen but still hasn’t quite cracked into the “A-list” status — hopefully this does it for him.  As far as Whedon is concerned: If you have any doubts about him as an artist you either (a) haven’t seen his writing/directing or (b) where a helmet with a tendency to drool on yourself.

Anything with this is good.

Dexter is coming back for season five — surprise?  Not really.  Season 4 ended with a bang bigger than Rosie O’Donnel’s prom night and buzz has abounded ever since.  If you haven’t already caught up with seasons 1–4 in preparation for this magnificence, sham on you.  I hope your genitals fall out and you cower in shame for your television-transgression for the rest of your days.  Hopefully [SPOILER] we see Ms. (fun-to-watch-her) Benz a bit despite her demise because Dexter’s sister can’t hold the show’s “hot” on her 45 pound shoulders…

Whoever took this off the show should be Dexter’s next victim.

In Bat-related news: a day or so before SDCC it was announced that the Riddler IS in fact the new villain for Nolan’s upcoming trilogy capper.  Several people have thrown Joseph Gordan-Levitt’s name out as a potential candidate and whilst I think he could pull it off, I’m still rooting for Mr. Jonathan Rhys Meyers to don the enigmatic role.  Even more interesting is this interview with Aaron Eckhart at SDCC where he says he WOULD come back as Two-Face if Nolan asked him to.  Another interesting tidbit is this interview where ex-Nolanite Robin Williams declared that he would work with Nolan in anything at all — Ventriloquist anyone?  No matter who plays what I think we can all rest assured that Batman’s third date with Nolan will be the sweet, sweet love-fest we’ve been waiting for (knock on wood), right?

Before I go, I’d like to mention a not-so-clever poke at Comic Con fans by none other than the proof that accidents happen, the incredibly unfunny, Carlos Mencia George Lopez.  I’ve had a few people ask me to defend our geekdom.  While it’s no secret that I have my own problems with cosplay gone wrong, something about Mr. Lopez’s Comic-Con Captions segment irked me.  Most of the jokes were particularly unclever and revolved around the typical comic books nerd’s virginity — maybe that’s what bothered me: the lack of actual, clever humor.  I’ve never seen Lopez Tonight.  To be honest, when I heard about it I thought it was a joke (it’s on TBS, right?).  I’m not sure if the Comic-Con thing was a fluke or something — maybe he’s funny most of the time.  But after looking him up and realizing that he was in Marmaduke, The Spy Next Door, Beverly Hills Chihuhua and the upcoming Smurfs, I actually felt bad for the guy.  Don’t waste your time with anger nerds.  We may have given George Lopez a failed opportunity at humor one night, but he’s been giving us humorous moments of failure for his entire career.

Mr. Wolff

PS: Go buy MYTHOI you silly twat.  Here.  Or here.

At ease, film soldiers. This week, we’re going to talk about one current great young American actor and his quest to further the artistry of filmmaking: Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

This young whipper-snapper had a few co-starring and starring roles on television before taking a hiatus to “go to college,” thereupon returning to the land of Hollywood Dreams as an indie-darling and eventual star of one of the surprise hits of 2009, (500) Days of Summer.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Ahh, the young man who will soon be king of “classic” Hollywood, in his younger days under the towering John Goodman. And before that, he was already a star for young kids who dig chocolate cereal:

Click here to view the embedded video.

By the end of the 90s, Levitt had made his feature film debut in Robert Redford’s A River Runs Through It, had fought alongside Jamie Lee Curtis in Halloween: H20, and earned a SAG nomination along with the rest of the cast of TV show “3rd Rock From the Sun”.

After a hiatus from acting to attend Columbia University, Levitt returned in some indie favorites: Manic, where he plays an angry young man sent to a juvenile mental institution. Brick, a high-school-noir in which Levitt is the new generation of Sam Spade; and then as a gay hustler haunted by his sexually abused past in  Mysterious Skin.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Darker, brooding characters seem to attract to Levitt’s sensibilities, as one of his stronger roles is the lead in The Lookout, screenwriter Scott Frank’s directorial debut about a high school athlete’s life as a janitor after a horrific accident causes memory loss and damages his senses and perception. He gets involved in a heist, and his battle with his own personal demons, as well as the thieves who’ve coerced him into the crime, are heightened to extraordinary levels of suspense.

Recently, audiences the world over grew to love JGL in the best film ever made, GI Joe: Rise of Cobra, in which he starred as Cobra.

Of course, no one loves this film more than your Sergeant. Everyone else in the world was enamored and still might be, but Levitt’s hopeless romantic lead in (500) Days of Summer. He starred opposite Zooey Deschanel, who was easy to love and hate through and through. He would listen to Zooey’s debut as a singer/songwriter, She & Him, in the mornings to prep for their scenes together. How can you not fall in love with Zooey after hearing her tunes?! They even made this video with director Marc Webb ((500) director and also taking over Spider-Man’s reboot):

Click here to view the embedded video.

Since 2004, Joseph Gordon-Levitt has run a website called hitrecord.org. This is a great place for folks in the filmmaking and multi-media creatives to get together and collaborate using each others’ materials, videos, songs, and creative talents to create and create and create. As JGL says in the website’s New Deal Video: “The media that used to be a monologue is becoming a dialogue.”

This concept of collaboration is nothing new in the land of cinema, and could even be a lesson learned for some of the heavyweights of Hollywood — just read up on the sudden war of words between Marvel Studios’ Kevin Feige and Incredible Hulk star Ed Norton over Marvel’s search for a new actor to play the Mean Green Avenger. Their reason was “rooted in the need for an actor who embodies the creativity and collaborative spirit of our other talented cast members. The Avengers demands players who thrive working as part of an ensemble.”

Joseph Gordon-Levitt worked well in the ensemble for 3rd Rock, and even better as a lead in Brick, and finally was pitch-perfect in (500) Days. In just four days, he’ll be returning opposite Leonardo DiCaprio in Christopher Nolan’s apparent masterpiece Inception. Will JGL top himself once again? Will he hold his own opposite Leo DiCaps? Or will he steal the show again and show Hollywood and the world over just how “collaborative” and “creative” he can be?

Click here to view the embedded video.

Sound back on your Inception experience below!

You are dismissed!

Sgt. Angle