Doubtless that the lot of you have already been reading and speculating on the news that Guillermo del Toro is no longer directing The Hobbit.

Hobbit to Hobbit, this town is too big for us.

Wah, wah! Boo-hoo! Now let’s get to the bare bones of it all and pick a winner to take up the reins of this beast.

Del Toro first signed on in April of 2008 to direct, coupling up with Peter Jackson to write two scripts out of the Tolkien story, with a tentative release date in 2012. Then, MGM sh*t hit the fan in terms of, you know, lack of funds. Then, not even a month ago, barely a month ago, del Toro bowed out of the directing gig, citing the fact that constant delays keep him from his passion projects.

Rumors abounded — Sam Raimi, who is apparently a great fan of Tolkien, has had his name thrown into the fire more than once. Yesterday, however, an interesting, reasonable, and dare-I-say logical choice was reported in the name of David Yates.

Below is a breakdown of why Yates is a great choice, as well as a quickie list of other top contenders who just might do the film justice. This is all, again, speculation, and it could even be less than a week from now when a real choice is made, which would make this write-up amount to nothing more than space on the screen — then again, perhaps we can brainstorm up another project for one of the below directors.

David Yates. This dude almost came out of nowhere when he picked up the Harry Potter franchise to direct Order of the Phoenix, Half-Blood Prince, and the upcoming Deathly Hallows (split into two movies). Before that, he directed the very mature, very complex, and very great thriller for British Television State of Play. If anyone understands the intricacies of character relationships, as well as big-budget effects — and the balance between the two — Yates is your guy.

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He’s not a very showy director, and his trimming of memorable scenes from the Potter books during their translation to the screen can range from reasonable to beneficial to downright frustrating storytelling. It’s almost as if he truly does start as late as possible and ends as soon as possible — despite his Potter films climbing upwards of 2 and 1/2 hours.

While Yates has yet to gain household name status, I’d like to think that his character sensibilities and great shot composition can really push the envelope in the world of Middle Earth, if that’s possible, to a point beyond Peter Jackson’s physical landscapes.

Sam Raimi. Though never building to much more than rumor — especially as he preps his film version of Warcraft followed by a possible dip into the land of Oz — the thought of the Evil Dead maestro taking the reins of perhaps one of the best film franchises in history is only a little exciting, considering his not insignificant bungling of the latter two Spider-Man films. Not all of the negative aspects are Raimi’s fault, but when a filmmaker gives up on story and character simply for the sake of the studio’s explosive profit eyes, you have to wonder where their dedication lies. He briefly made up for his mistakes with the delightfully scary Drag Me to Hell, but could Raimi return to a big budget world — under the guiding hands of fellow-filmmaker Peter Jackson — with anything other than a mixed mess?

Alfonso Cuaron. Possibly only a rumor to the few and proud dedicated Prisoner of Azkaban lovers, Cuaron’s visual sensibilities are equivalent to Jackson’s in as much as his deft camera moves and the simple way he captures the heart of poignant and even otherwise bland scenes. However, this could also lead to his downfall, as The Hobbit, while powerful in the creation of the epic journey, is not a trip for the feint of heart, or for the child within. It’s for the grown-ups we will become. Granted, he contributed a great deal to the development of Harry Potter into a young adult, and handed us a more-mature-than-it-needed-to-be tale of friendship in Y Tu Mama Tambien, but is he ready for the gigantic budget and all-encompassing universe of Tolkien? All signs from Children of Men point to yes.

I’m telling you, you smell like cheese.

Kenneth Branagh. Go ahead, finish laughing. Who is to say that the director of many-a Shakespeare play or film couldn’t take on the intricate world and character intrigue within The Hobbit? Add that depth to the fact that he is currently shooting Thor, a big-budget Marvel action picture with devious villains (perhaps) and colorful action and special effects, and there’s a side to Branagh that’s ready to branch out. He is one of the greatest actors around today, so maybe he’ll even take on the monumental task of directing himself? Eh?

Frank Darabont. The guy’s too tied up on The Walking Dead TV adaptation to really dedicate to the project, but wouldn’t he be a great choice for the smooth editing and the way his stories unfold? Shawshank Redemption and The Majestic both unfolded in  way that basically implied that these movies always existed, and all we had to do was uncover the filmstrip. The Mist, while perhaps weaker in dialogue and character development, did however unfold almost casually; there is no other way to tell a Darabont script. His writing is always a clean, fast, easy read. I would even go so far as to suggest that Darabont take a pass at The Hobbit script before hoisting the camera over his own shoulders on this one.

George Lucas. Just F**king with you.

Neill Blomkamp. Finally, and perhaps the most obvious horse in the race that I’ve just made up, Neill Blomkamp, Peter Jackson’s protege. The double L Neill rocketed to success after his first feature District 9 — which also featured stunning CG work that was unmatched last year, okay, maybe by Avatar — and also found a way to develop the character of an alien to this planet through mockumentary footage mixed with the “in home” scenes of a father and son just trying to get home. He’s kind of an obvious choice to pick up the reins, but is also the most inexperienced in dealing with the huge budget, sprawling story, and majestic camera sweeps that are the true ingredients to Peter Jackson’s Middle Earth.

So there you have it. Who do you want to consider to take over Middle Earth territory from Guillermo del Toro’s departure? Sound off like you’ve got a pair!

Dismissed.

Sgt. Angle

Ladies and gentlemen, the other night we were graced with the glorious presence of the prestigious Movie Awards. Along with the usual candy-cane hubbub that comes with MTV, we were also graced with some exclusive clips of upcoming movies. Because your sergeant is especially tired this morning, you’re going to have to bear with an exceptionally short session.

1. Twilight whatever: Never gonna watch it. And you can’t make me. And Kristen Stewart is beyond awkward. Reading the series must be worse, according to this site. In fact, this story drives me so nuts, I’m not even going to post the trailer that debuted on the Movie Awards.

2. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Aside from Lord of the Rings, this is the only true film series that might beat the test of time — and don’t bother trying with the Star Wars argument, Lucas already destroyed our patience with his effing prequel scenarios…Lookit HP in all of its’ wonderful gloriousnes, and if you still don’t want to see it, tell me what’s wrong with you, soldier.

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3. Next up from the MA 2010 pre-sow broadcast is a new clip from Scott Pilgrim vs. the World. Michael Cera, Anna Kendrick…gimme more!

4. We were also given a taste of Shyamalan sauce tossed around with hot air in The Last Airbender. This is one I’m still on the fence about. Either I’ll be wishy washy and not see it, or I’ll see it and look for everything wrong with it. I wish there was another option.

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Finally, you should really download to your internal hard drive everything Tom Cruise can do, from Risky Business pants-less dancing to male dominance motivation to fat-suit grooving. Les grossman, we salute you.

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Until next week…you are dismissed!

Sgt. Angle

Anyway, in honor of the newest addition to Semantink, I thought I’d review one of my favorite modern horror fantasy novels. While it may not be all that scary, it sure is a lot of fun! The book I’d like to discuss is Nightwatch by Sergei Lukyanenko.

No, it’s not based on the Rembrandt painting. A movie version of the book came out in 2004, directed by Timur Bekmambetov (director of Wanted and producer of 9). I do have to say, however, that you should read the book before you see the movie, because the two are barely similar and the book is better (And if you accidentally see Nightwatch starring Ewan McGregor, you’ll be even more confused, since that has nothing to do with the novel and is actually a remake of the Danish film Nattevagten). Published in Russia in 1998, the novel took the country by storm, elevating Lukyanenko to the same level of popularity as many other high fantasy authors (in fact, when the movie came out in Russia, it ended up grossing more than The Lord of the Rings).

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The novel centers around two groups of supernatural humans (known as Others), who live among normal humans. The two groups are the Light Others and the Dark Others, and a long time ago they fought each other in a vicious war. The Light Others get their power from the positive emotions of people around them, while the Dark Others feed off of negative emotions. During the war, they realized that neither side could get the upper hand and the endgame would be annihilation of both the Light and the Dark, so the leaders of both sides established a Great Treaty, and also an Inquisition composed of Light and Dark Others to arbitrate. They also formed two Watches, the Night Watch and the Day Watch. The Night Watch is a group of Light Others who are in charge of policing Dark Others and making sure they abide by the Treaty, while the Day Watch is Dark Others policing the Light.
All types of magic and myth show up in these books: Magicians, Wizards and Witches, Vampires, Werewolves, etc. are all explained as Others who follow the Light or the Dark.

The reason Others can do extraordinary things is because of The Twilight (some translations call it The Gloom, which might be better, since it helps people avoid comparisons to certain crappy novels written for tweenage girls — and also adults with tweenage mentalities). The Twilight The Gloom is a world existing just underneath the regular world, colors and sound become less vivid, but emotions are heightened. A human becomes an Other when they enter The Gloom for the first time, and all Others can enter The Gloom at will, though at a price. While The Gloom allows Others to perform deeds which seem, to regular humans, miraculous, the price is that Others must give The Gloom their energy to perform these deeds. An Other who loses his energy inside The Gloom becomes absorbed into it, and lost forever.

The book’s protagonist is a Night Watch operative named Anton, a low-level Magician who finds himself caught up in high-level scheming. In addition to the urban horror-fantasy setting of the novel, what makes the book so interesting is the battle between Light and Dark and good and evil. Light Others tend towards the altruistic, acting for the good of the many, while Dark Others tend to act selfishly, acting for the good of themselves. What this book does amazingly well is show how blurry the lines between Light and Dark and good and evil really are.

The book is divided into three parts: Destiny, Among His Own Kind, and All For My Own Kind. Each part is a complete story in and of itself, and while each story feels like a separate entity from the other stories, by the end of the book you can see how they are actually all connected.
Readers familiar with Star Wars (the Force) and Harry Potter (magic) will see many recognizable elements, but their portrayal is a unique and refreshing change. In particular, I appreciated how the legends concerning monsters and magicians were explained to work in this world without completely changing their mythology (the way Meyer did in her books-which-shall-not-be-named).

The film version of Night Watch actually only covers (extremely loosely) the plot of Destiny, the first story of the novel. The movie’s sequel, Day Watch, covers a highly bastardized combination of Night Watch’s other two stories, which is a real shame, since the novel’s sequel (also called Day Watch) is a series of three stories writing from a Dark Other’s perspective.

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So give ‘em a read and make sure you come back Monday for another read of The Undergrounds.
Until next time.

Still paddlin’ the old knew…
_-Akatzen-_

Back? Excellent! On with the Report.

In 1985, Walt Disney Pictures released their first animated feature to use computer-generated imagery. It was also their first feature to switch from a Xerography process of animation to an APT process of animation. It was also the most expensive animated feature made up until then. It was also the first animated Disney film to earn a PG rating. It was also a box office failure.
The film I’m talking about is The Black Cauldron, written and directed by Ted Berman and Richard Rich (the team that also made Disney’s The Fox and The Hound).

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The collection is for young readers, though I think they belong in the same category as The Chronicles of Narnia and Harry Potter as far as fantasy that young readers will enjoy. This critically acclaimed series is a great stepping stone towards high fantasy of greater scope and maturity. When The High King was released in 1969, the book won the Newberry Medal for “the most distinguished contribution to American literature for children”.

As for the story, the series draws heavily on Welsh mythology, particularly the Mabinogion. However, Alexander himself is quick to point out in an Author’s Note that while the Mabinogion and other Welsh mythology inspired the Chronicles, “Prydain is a country existing only in the imagination.“
And when I say the Chronicles are inspired by Welsh mythology, I mean that the same way films do when they are “inspired by true events”. Names, places, items, and events were lifted straight out of the Welsh mythos and placed into these stories. Alexander then takes heavy artistic license with them.

Gwydion, for instance, is hardly as noble and virtuous in Welsh mythology as he is portrayed in the book. Quite often he is portrayed as a trickster and rogue. In the Fourth Branch of the Mabinogi he even helps his brother rape King Math’s foot-holder.
Arawn, the equivalent in Prydain of Middle-Earth’s Sauron, is also not nearly as evil as he is portrayed in the books.
Hopefully, young readers impressed with the story will seek out the original stories, learning in the process a wealth of history and folklore covering not only Welsh mythology but also the origins of many Arthurian legends.
In particular, the titles of the first three novels mention aspects of Welsh mythology that have filtered into other cultures and even into other religions.

The Book of Three: You ever wonder where the Trinity came from? If you answered “The Matrix” then I like your sense of humor. If you answered “The Bible” then you are wrong. The concept of one god existing in separate aspects at the same time does not appear anywhere in the Bible (though, to be fair, there are many verses which imply that it is at least possible). Where this concept does appear, is in Welsh, Celtic, and Norse mythology. The Fates (or The Norns, in Norse mythology), are three women, one knowing all there is to know about the past, one who knows the present, and one to see the future. Sometimes they are portrayed as weavers, spinning out the threads of our lives. In the Chronicles, three weird sisters (Macbeth, anyone?) make an appearance bearing distinct similarities.
There is also a Book of Three, containing “all that was ever known, and all that will ever be known”. Perhaps one of the Christian church’s most holy ideas comes from the “pagan” religions it suppressed and integrated.

The Black Cauldron: The title of the second book comes from a large kettle which can bring back to life anyone placed within it. In the original mythology, the cauldron was a benevolent gift from Arawn, King of Annwn (which eventually turned into Avalon in Arthurian legend, and is directly responsible for much of the early Church’s ideas about Heaven). In the Chronicles the cauldron became an evil thing, however in the original Welsh mythology, the Cauldron represented miraculous healing powers. If this sounds a bit like what The Holy Grail can do, there’s a good reason for it.

The Castle of Llyr: Probably the most obscure of the titles, perhaps the name of this Welsh sea-god is more familiar when it is spelled “Lear”. The original Welsh tale has very little to do with the story Shakespeare wrote (who got the idea from Geoffrey of Monmouth’s highly fictional History of the Kings of Britain), but Lear’s origin is distinctly Welsh.

The main value in the series (beyond its entertainment value) is that, like so much of High Fantasy as a genre (though not, generally, Fantasy for children), the books are a Bildungsroman (German: “novel of education”). The phrase comes from the German Enlightenment, and is used to describe a coming-of-age type of novel where the protagonist undergoes psychological, moral, and social growth.

This is what sets these books apart from Narnia, Harry Potter, Eragon, and even (depsite their excellence) His Dark Materials.
Taran, the main character of The Chronicles of Prydain, is an Assistant Pig-Keeper. Like the Hobbits in The Lord of the Rings, Taran dreams of being something bigger (pun intended). Other children’s fantasy tends to make the main character “heroic” right off the bat, so they can go do amazing things. Taran, on the other hand, gets caught up in a conflict he is neither equipped nor ready to handle. Out of that conflict comes his growth towards adulthood.
How like real life is that? As an example for children to follow, Taran is a much better candidate than Harry Potter. As Lloyd Alexander himself puts it:

“Such things never happen in real life. Or do they? Most of us are called upon to perform tasks far beyond what we believe we can do. Our capabilities seldom match our aspirations, and we are often woefully unprepared. To this extent, we are all Assistant Pig-Keepers at heart.”

For the adult reader, The Chronicles of Prydain can do much to extend an appreciation for High Fantasy as a genre. These books also do much to encourage the growth of the imagination, as they cater to a child’s imagination, where so much more than the laws of physics and the responsibilities of life are possible. And perhaps it is possible also to come away from these books learning a thing or two.