That’s right bitches — daddy’s back.

A few things have developed in the wide world of comics that I feel have fallen through the cracks like sweat beads on a fat woman — I’m here to divulge an opinion on such topics.

I hope you sweaty slobs had a good time at San Diego Comic Con last weekend.  It seems that Benjamin found himself staring into the diamond mines of a certain White Queen and for that reason alone, I wish I was there.  Save the gloriously revealed breasts and asses that abound in perfect curvature and a few little nuggets of news I have to admit that I’m not too jealous of missing out.  SDCC is, like an old man on blue pills, getting too damned big.

Guaranteed to make you hard as a diamond.

You may have heard that Mark Ruffalo and Joss Whedon have jumped onboard the Avengers movie as Bruce Banner and Director respectively.  I’ve gotten a few emails asking me my thoughts on this announcement and here it is: F*ck yes.  Something about Norton has never vibed with me — I think it’s his voice, he sounds like one of those guys who enjoys being right a bit too much.  Ruffalo on the other hand has always been a pleasure to watch on screen but still hasn’t quite cracked into the “A-list” status — hopefully this does it for him.  As far as Whedon is concerned: If you have any doubts about him as an artist you either (a) haven’t seen his writing/directing or (b) where a helmet with a tendency to drool on yourself.

Anything with this is good.

Dexter is coming back for season five — surprise?  Not really.  Season 4 ended with a bang bigger than Rosie O’Donnel’s prom night and buzz has abounded ever since.  If you haven’t already caught up with seasons 1–4 in preparation for this magnificence, sham on you.  I hope your genitals fall out and you cower in shame for your television-transgression for the rest of your days.  Hopefully [SPOILER] we see Ms. (fun-to-watch-her) Benz a bit despite her demise because Dexter’s sister can’t hold the show’s “hot” on her 45 pound shoulders…

Whoever took this off the show should be Dexter’s next victim.

In Bat-related news: a day or so before SDCC it was announced that the Riddler IS in fact the new villain for Nolan’s upcoming trilogy capper.  Several people have thrown Joseph Gordan-Levitt’s name out as a potential candidate and whilst I think he could pull it off, I’m still rooting for Mr. Jonathan Rhys Meyers to don the enigmatic role.  Even more interesting is this interview with Aaron Eckhart at SDCC where he says he WOULD come back as Two-Face if Nolan asked him to.  Another interesting tidbit is this interview where ex-Nolanite Robin Williams declared that he would work with Nolan in anything at all — Ventriloquist anyone?  No matter who plays what I think we can all rest assured that Batman’s third date with Nolan will be the sweet, sweet love-fest we’ve been waiting for (knock on wood), right?

Before I go, I’d like to mention a not-so-clever poke at Comic Con fans by none other than the proof that accidents happen, the incredibly unfunny, Carlos Mencia George Lopez.  I’ve had a few people ask me to defend our geekdom.  While it’s no secret that I have my own problems with cosplay gone wrong, something about Mr. Lopez’s Comic-Con Captions segment irked me.  Most of the jokes were particularly unclever and revolved around the typical comic books nerd’s virginity — maybe that’s what bothered me: the lack of actual, clever humor.  I’ve never seen Lopez Tonight.  To be honest, when I heard about it I thought it was a joke (it’s on TBS, right?).  I’m not sure if the Comic-Con thing was a fluke or something — maybe he’s funny most of the time.  But after looking him up and realizing that he was in Marmaduke, The Spy Next Door, Beverly Hills Chihuhua and the upcoming Smurfs, I actually felt bad for the guy.  Don’t waste your time with anger nerds.  We may have given George Lopez a failed opportunity at humor one night, but he’s been giving us humorous moments of failure for his entire career.

Mr. Wolff

PS: Go buy MYTHOI you silly twat.  Here.  Or here.

Good Morning Semantinkerers!

One week from today, the fine folks of San Diego will explode in nerdgasms as San Diego Comic Con International 2010 descends upon the down town area. While (almost) every comic convention has a floor filled with comic books, toys and other generally geek-tastic displays, what sets the SDCC apart from it’s competitors is the huge number of panels that they provide, as well as the great quality of the panels. With the programming for Comic-con being announced last week, I thought I would devote this week’s Comicopea to some of the panels that I am most geeked up about. Let’s take a look:

THURSDAY

DC COMICS WRITERS UNITE!: This panel gathers up some of DC’s biggest writers, past and present (some of the writers included are JMS, Denny O’Neil, Paul Levitz, and the always awesome Gail Simone) and has them wax about the craft of comic book writing. Writers always make for a great panel, and this panel has some of the all time greats.

DANNY ELFMAN: While people might complain that SDCC has moved too far away from it’s comic book roots, panels like this make me disagree with that argument. What other convention would feature one of the greatest composers of our generation looking at his career? My guess is none. Plus, Elfman did the score for 1989’s Batman, so he belongs at a comic convention anyway.

DIGITAL COMICS NOW!: This is the kind of panel I seek out as a publisher. Panelists include the CEOs of several digital comics apps discussing the future of comics in the digital market place.

THE EXPENDABLES: A panel devoted to what will surely be one of the bloodiest, most violent movies of the year? Count me in.

FRIDAY

THE WALKING DEAD: A sneak peak at the upcoming AMC show based on the Kirkman comic. All the preview images I have seen for this show have me interested, despite not being a big zombie nerd. I will be there to let Frank Darabont wow me into watching.

DC FOCUS– GRANT MORRISON: Normally I am not into the single person spotlight, but Morrison floats around on a cloud of ideas which I would like to see in person. Also, the panel promises “glimpses of what goes on in the mind of Grant Morrison as he crafts some of the world’s most thought-provoking comics”. If we get to look inside of GM’s head, that might be the most interesting show of the weekend.

THE JOSS WHEDON EXPERIENCE: Whedonites are some of the most rabidly loyal fans out there. The idea of seeing a room full of them with Whedon in the room tickles me. Oh, and Whedon is pretty awesome as well.
SATURDAY

WARNER BROTHERS PANEL: I don’t imagine you will be able to get into this one unless you start waiting the night before. Movies showcased include GREEN LANTERN, HARRY POTTER & THE DEATHLY HALLOWS, and SUCKER PUNCH. If you can get in, it should be a blast!

KICKSTART YOUR COMIC: I am always looking for new ideas, so this panel, focusing on expanding market share should be interesting to me (and probably about 10 other people).
SUNDAY

JACK KIRBY TRIBUTE: Everyone loves the King. Yeah, the guy behind the look of the Fantastic Four, The New Gods, The X-Men, The Eternals, and so much more. The idea of getting to see a bunch of his work while guys like Marv Wolfman and Kurt Busiek talk about his impact sounds like an awesome way to spend Sunday Morning.

CBDLF LIVE ART JAM: Artists on panels don’t usually work. They aren’t the eloquent speakers that writers are, and they tend to get sidetracked. However, in the live art jam you get to watch some pretty awesome artists (Tim Seeley and Ale Garza to name a few)  battle to see who can make the coolest pictures, and it’s for a good cause. Win and Win!

I should also point out that for every panel I mentioned here, there are probably another five that I didn’t mention that sound amazing. There is really something for everyone at SDCC. If you will be down for the con next week, make sure you take some time to head out to a panel or two, just make sure you plan for a line on the bigger panels. Thanks for stopping in folks, I’ll see you next week!