That’s right bitches — daddy’s back.

A few things have developed in the wide world of comics that I feel have fallen through the cracks like sweat beads on a fat woman — I’m here to divulge an opinion on such topics.

I hope you sweaty slobs had a good time at San Diego Comic Con last weekend.  It seems that Benjamin found himself staring into the diamond mines of a certain White Queen and for that reason alone, I wish I was there.  Save the gloriously revealed breasts and asses that abound in perfect curvature and a few little nuggets of news I have to admit that I’m not too jealous of missing out.  SDCC is, like an old man on blue pills, getting too damned big.

Guaranteed to make you hard as a diamond.

You may have heard that Mark Ruffalo and Joss Whedon have jumped onboard the Avengers movie as Bruce Banner and Director respectively.  I’ve gotten a few emails asking me my thoughts on this announcement and here it is: F*ck yes.  Something about Norton has never vibed with me — I think it’s his voice, he sounds like one of those guys who enjoys being right a bit too much.  Ruffalo on the other hand has always been a pleasure to watch on screen but still hasn’t quite cracked into the “A-list” status — hopefully this does it for him.  As far as Whedon is concerned: If you have any doubts about him as an artist you either (a) haven’t seen his writing/directing or (b) where a helmet with a tendency to drool on yourself.

Anything with this is good.

Dexter is coming back for season five — surprise?  Not really.  Season 4 ended with a bang bigger than Rosie O’Donnel’s prom night and buzz has abounded ever since.  If you haven’t already caught up with seasons 1–4 in preparation for this magnificence, sham on you.  I hope your genitals fall out and you cower in shame for your television-transgression for the rest of your days.  Hopefully [SPOILER] we see Ms. (fun-to-watch-her) Benz a bit despite her demise because Dexter’s sister can’t hold the show’s “hot” on her 45 pound shoulders…

Whoever took this off the show should be Dexter’s next victim.

In Bat-related news: a day or so before SDCC it was announced that the Riddler IS in fact the new villain for Nolan’s upcoming trilogy capper.  Several people have thrown Joseph Gordan-Levitt’s name out as a potential candidate and whilst I think he could pull it off, I’m still rooting for Mr. Jonathan Rhys Meyers to don the enigmatic role.  Even more interesting is this interview with Aaron Eckhart at SDCC where he says he WOULD come back as Two-Face if Nolan asked him to.  Another interesting tidbit is this interview where ex-Nolanite Robin Williams declared that he would work with Nolan in anything at all — Ventriloquist anyone?  No matter who plays what I think we can all rest assured that Batman’s third date with Nolan will be the sweet, sweet love-fest we’ve been waiting for (knock on wood), right?

Before I go, I’d like to mention a not-so-clever poke at Comic Con fans by none other than the proof that accidents happen, the incredibly unfunny, Carlos Mencia George Lopez.  I’ve had a few people ask me to defend our geekdom.  While it’s no secret that I have my own problems with cosplay gone wrong, something about Mr. Lopez’s Comic-Con Captions segment irked me.  Most of the jokes were particularly unclever and revolved around the typical comic books nerd’s virginity — maybe that’s what bothered me: the lack of actual, clever humor.  I’ve never seen Lopez Tonight.  To be honest, when I heard about it I thought it was a joke (it’s on TBS, right?).  I’m not sure if the Comic-Con thing was a fluke or something — maybe he’s funny most of the time.  But after looking him up and realizing that he was in Marmaduke, The Spy Next Door, Beverly Hills Chihuhua and the upcoming Smurfs, I actually felt bad for the guy.  Don’t waste your time with anger nerds.  We may have given George Lopez a failed opportunity at humor one night, but he’s been giving us humorous moments of failure for his entire career.

Mr. Wolff

PS: Go buy MYTHOI you silly twat.  Here.  Or here.