With the movie Inception having come out, and the question of dreams and reality hot on the minds of the common populace, I figured I’d go ahead and write about lucid dreaming this week. As usual, my first move in looking at lucid dreaming is to look at the definition from the OED: “a dream in which the sleeper is aware that he or she is dreaming and is sometimes able to control or influence the course of the dream.” The movie Inception plays off this idea of control in a dream. Typically, we associate dreams with the part of our subconscious that is trying to play out problems or scenarios in our mind. Dreams tend to be actions that are done to us, as opposed to our having direct control over the dreamscape. Questions about reality are bound to come up when you talk about being able to act freely and openly in the dreamscape; namely, how do you differentiate a dream from reality. The same question was asked in the film The Matrix; the scene in which Neo is being liberated by Morpheus begins with the question: “Have you ever had a dream, Neo, that you were so sure was real? What if you were unable to wake from that dream?” The question is a good one when discussing lucid dreaming or the confusion that can occur for some people between their dreams and reality. The question that I like to ask is: which thread of reality are we holding on to tightly? Do we look for a representation of reality that is up to our par? Is reality as firm as we’d like to believe? Are we just the dreamscape of some powerful knowing God? Anyone who has had a philosophy class has heard these questions asked, and I love it. I’m reminded of a story about one of Alexander the Great’s advisors. He was a Yogi, and he was trying to convince some soldiers about the dreaminess of life; he believed something like, “As sure as I woke from my dream this morning, I will wake from this life as well.” The soldiers laughed at him, so he threw himself into the fire without a sound. I guess we’ll have to wait and see if he actually did wake up from our collective dream.

So how do you dream lucidly? There are several methods that are available from the traditional Tibetan techniques to the ultra modern technological solutions. That being said, there are also a lot of people out there that want to sell you books about lucid dreaming. I’m going to share links of sites that I’ve found that give you free tips on how to enter a lucid dreaming state. Conversely, I’m also going to show you sites that I feel are trying to make a buck on something that probably should be common knowledge. But before I go about teaching the world how to dream lucidly, what are the benefits of lucid dreaming? Essentially, the biggest benefit that people have reported when dreaming lucidly is the ability to experience and recall their dreams fairly accurately. This is different from dream control which is all about directing the mind toward a particular area. I feel that lucid dreaming is an attempt to understand why you are having a particular dream in the first place; in other words, I’m more prone to go along with lucid dreaming because it seems to be a meditative attempt to understand one’s own subconscious. Let us say that you are disturbed about the loss of a loved one that you may have had unresolved issues with; in a dream, you have a conversation with that person. With lucid dreaming techniques, you could remember fairly vividly what was said and probably even work out some of those unresolved issues instead of waking up terrified with some half-remembered dream memories (dreamories?) about being visited by dead people in your sleep. Dream control, on the other hand, seems to be more about satisfying one’s waking needs at the cost of one’s subconscious. One of the articles I came across (http://lucidity.com/LucidDreamingFAQ2.html#harmful) argues that one of the primary reasons that people yearn to dream lucidly revolves around the ability to live out fantasies. The most common fantasy, according to the article, is that of flight. The second greatest fantasy that people report deals with sex (shocking to us all, I’m sure). The main benefit of lucid dreaming is that you are in a hypothetical arena that is filled and populated entirely by your consciousness. Or is it? As I’m writing this several questions keep going through my mind: Is lucid dreaming selfish and self-centered? Is it an escape from reality? Or is it quite the opposite? Is lucid dreaming getting closer to the stage we enter after death? Is lucid dreaming entering part way into the kingdom of heaven or hell or whatever? While you ponder those questions, I’ll move on to a list of sites about lucid dreaming on the internet.

Here are some of the sites that I think are pretty open and honest. They don’t really seem to want to sell you some swampland in the dream-world, they genuinely seem interested in sharing knowledge on this topic which so many people find interesting:

http://lucidity.com/LucidDreamingFAQ2.html#harmful

http://www.consciousdreaming.com/lucid-dreaming/how-to-lucid-dream.htm

http://serendip.brynmawr.edu/exchange/node/1759

Here’s a list of sites that I would avoid. They are either heavy with trying to sell you books that are typically recycled information from someone else’s sites or books (on information that is readily available for free), or they seem to suggest that you will develop some kind of mutant powers with which to save or destroy the world. Most of these sites like to use the word, “Institute,” because I guess they feel that that word makes them sound professional. From what I’ve researched, lucid dreaming is more about getting in touch with yourself and your own subconscious than it is about getting information out of people’s heads or trying to control your subconscious.

http://lucidity.com/

http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art10584.asp

http://altered-states.net/barry/newsletter237/index.htm

As I mentioned earlier, there are also devices that can give you a cue when it detects REM such as a sound or a flashing light which can help you to realize that you are dreaming and put you in a lucid state. Do they work? Some of the research seems to suggest that it can really help induce a lucid state of mind during dreaming, but it is not one hundred percent reliable. Here is an example of one of these devices:

http://lucidity.com/novadreamer.html

Finally, I will end with a video from a man who covers some of these “dream devices.” Enjoy, and I will see you in your dreams.

Neil Patrick Harris did a great job at the Emmys.  Granted, I have never, not-once seen the Emmys before, but from what I hear, they usually suck.  Maybe not, but probably — most award shows do.  Regardless, I found Doogie quite entertaining and to me, the whole event was educational, as I have no idea who more than half the people who won are.  There was, however, one awkward moment where I found myself questioning all things right with the world: the reality TV segment.  I know that award shows often feel like Hollywood patting itself on the back, but giving time to “honor” the best in reality TV feels like Superman giving a keynote presentation on the awesome power of his Kryptonian erection to a group of male high school students, it’s just going to make everyone feel awkward and impotent, and it’s not really anything special, it’s just a matter of circumstance.  Superman (reality TV) didn’t do anything to earn his super-dick, he just happens to be at the right place at the right time, but there he goes, blabbering on about how awesome it is, and how his penis could puncture steel if improperly aroused.  I think I lost track of my metaphor somewhere…let’s back up a bit.

And Timmy went to his own fortress of solitude…

Reality TV has been around for a while, but the reality TV we know and love began as a result of the Writer’s Guild Strike of 1988.  Can you guess what show came out of that desperate need for programming?  COPS.  Quite frankly, I think COPS is awesome.  I love watching the crackheads, pimps, hos and drug dealers scramble and run around like animals in a zoo.  The only thing better than that is when we get to see white trash in some podunk town rolling around in his own feces holding tight to a six-pack of PBR screaming out about how much he loves his cousin.  Bless you COPS, bless you.  But COPS isn’t the type of reality TV I’m ’bout to get all flavors of rowdy on…

I blame Paula for this.

I understand the draw for some of these shows, I really do.  Take American Idol.  I know it’s fun for people to get together and vote on who they think is the best singer, essentially making that person rich off of their talent without having to work for it like other truly talented singers — it’s a god complex thing.  That’s cool.  But the problem is this:  Why is it that everyone from California to New York is all abuzz about Paula leaving as a judge and lesbEllen taking her place, when only 1/3 of the American population can name the three branches of our government?  I feel like every single fan of American Idol would live like the fat twats in WALL-E if they could, as long as they were given proper entertainment.

Like cattle…

How about Survivor?  I realize that the title is alluring to the fact that these people have to survive each other, and not the location they are in, but what the f*ck?  They won’t die and all they really do is bitch about each other the whole time.  If I wanted to be entertained by people fighting each other and talking sh*t behind each others backs I’d just go to my family’s house for dinner.  There’s no story being told and at the end of the show nobody watching it is any smarter than they were before, so what is the entertainment value?  And more importantly, why is it eligible for a f*cking Emmy?  For what?  Filming people being people in a place where people don’t live?  Oooh, innovative!  You can try and defend it if you want, but Survivor is one of the biggest mistakes our civilization has ever endorsed.  If you take every fan of survivor and asked them how to spell bug, they’d probably stare at you waiting for tribal council to vote you off the island like a mesmerized twat.

These shows are everywhere:  Laguna Beach: The Real Orange County, The Amazing Race, Project Runway, America’s Next Top Model, Fear Factor, Wife Swap, The Apprentice, Big Brother and Dancing with the Stars… This sh*t has taken over my TV.  I can’t switch through more than five channels without seeing an ad for one show more “real” than the next.  But what are they, really?  I think that giving the general public an insiders look into the lives of crab fishermen is fascinating, I really do, but why do we need to know about bored, rich, white women with nipples under their jaws, more make-up then some geisha-clown monster, glowing orange from fake tan spray?  There need to be a line!

And you know why these shows are on the air, don’t you?  Because of all the stupid dopes in the world who would rather live life vicariously through the boob-tube than getting on with their own.  Put down the remote and try learning the guitar!  Read a book, or a comic book (preferably Mythoi)!  Walk your dog!  Or, heaven forbid, spend time with your family and friends!  Hey, I know, get a lover and make your own reality show!  Who gives a fluorescent-flying-f*ck about who voted who off of which island, boat or house?!  If you said, “I do,” then I need you to do me a favor:  I want you to hold your breath until everything turns black.

The Emmys has a category for reality TV.  Hollywood has been selling us bullsh*t for quite some time.  I, like many of you, allow myself consumption of said feces when the trade off between my time and the entertainment provided is acceptable.  At some point, we let those bastards sell us pictures of ourselves under the banner of “reality.”  They figured out that they can entertain us without great writing, action or directing (aka $)…  They have only to let us see each other — then they cash their six-figure checks.  And now, the Emmys have a category for reality TV.  It used to be that Hollywood danced when we paid for it.  Now, we (the patrons of television) all stand in a room naked, jerking each other off, letting the cameras catch everything — then we pay Hollywood to see it.  And now, there is a damned category for reality TV at the damned Emmys.

*Sigh.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go check out Superman’s boner.

Mr. Wolff