Hey, kids! It’s Akatzen, bringing you another Book Report.

January is almost over, and as the first month of the decade draws to a close, I’d like to take a look at the top best-sellers at Barnes and Noble for January. I originally was going to take a look at the New York Times Bestseller List, but they divide it into the top 5 by categories, which would prove to be an awful long post. So I decided that the top sellers of a major chain would probably be an accurate representation of what most of America is reading this month. So here we go!

10. Worst Case by James Patterson

James Patterson novels proliferate the crime thriller genre the way low-calorie frozen foods hit supermarket shelves. There are a lot of them, there isn’t much to them, and ultimately, they just aren’t that good.
“But wait a minute, Akatzen,” you might say, “his novels consistently hit the ranks of bestseller, he’s written more than twenty novels in the past three years, including some for young adult readers, and some of those books have been turned into manga.“
Popularity, unfortunately, does not make a thing good simply because it is popular. Now, it’s not that Patterson’s stuff is bad, it’s just that after reading Stieg Larsson and Thomas Harris you are better able to determine who the masters of the craft really are. Compared to really good crime thriller, Patterson is mediocre, and only very occasionally does a good moment appear in one of his novels.

9. The Last Song by Nicholas Sparks

Nicholas Sparks is the guy that wrote The Notebook, which became the movie a guy has his wife watch when he’s too tired for foreplay but still wants to get laid. Sparks writes what I call “High-brow Romance” novels. The formula is: introduce a love story that stretches out the readers emotions, and then have something happen to make the reader cry. It’s probably why several of his books end up on film.

8. When You Reach Me by Rebecca Stead

This novel for young adults has been getting good reviews as a taut mystery and amazing fantasy rolled into one, reminiscent of Madeline L’Engle’s A Wrinkle in Time series. I don’t know much more about it, but in an era of lame vampire novels and cheap Harry Potter ripoffs this sounds absolutely refreshing.

7. Percy Jackson and the Olympians box set by Rick Riordan

Speaking of Harry Potter ripoffs… Riordan’s series has managed to pick up young readers and hang onto them. The basic premise is that the gods of Olympus are alive and well in the present day. And they’ve continued their shenanigans, included mating with humans to spawn demigod children.
Harry Percy is an ordinary boy living an ordinary life until he finds out that his father is actually a wizard Posiedon, god of the sea (and earthquakes), and he is the only one able to stop the evil wizard Voldemort Titan Kronus.
Essentially, the novels sound like a modern day Clash of the Titans ripoff for young adults.

6. A Reliable Wife by Robert Goolrick

Goolrick’s debut novel is about a man and his mail order bride and the scheming, plotting, and loving they get into. Essentially, this book is a steamy bodice ripper with deep and dark psychological problems.

5. The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold

Sebold’s novel keeps popping up on best-seller lists, and there is a good reason for it: The novel is excellent. The latest resurgence in popularity stems from the movie that just came out, directed by Peter Jackson, of The Frighteners and Braindead (released in America as Dead Alive) fame. Oh, and The Lord of the Rings.

4. Dear John by Nicholas Sparks

The movie is coming out in February (for Valentine’s Day of course), so a rise in popularity is expected.

3. The Help by Kathryn Stockett

Set in the sixties in Mississippi, the novel follows 3 women as they come together and work to redefine the social lines that keep them tied down. The book’s been getting good press, and looks worth a read.

2. Dear John by Nicholas Sparks

I hate when books release a new edition of the novel, only with a movie poster as the cover.

1. Game Change by John Heilemann and Mark Halperin

This book looked interesting, at first glance. It is touted as being a behind the scenes look at the major candidates in the last presidential election.
At second glance, it turns out that it is mostly gossipy reactions of people who worked on the election campaigns during key moments of the race. It’s news the way Entertainment Tonight is news: BFD.
Still, it is a balanced look at both political parties, which is a rare find when you look for election memoirs.
On the other hand, I’d call it a political book for the American Idol crowd. Thinking readers will want to go elsewhere.

Well, that’s it for this week (and month). See ya in February.
Still paddlin’ the old knew…
_-Akatzen-_